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...OR Escaping the Land of the Perfect
Before I grew up to become the now infamous Ex-Mayor of ProcrastinationVille, I lived in the Land of the Perfect. A thriving community of overachievers, led by the collective fear of failure.
For any proud member of the Land of the Perfect, failure is an impossible prospect and surely not part of the parcel of greatness.
Naturally, I too became a, slightly neurotic, go-getter, from a really young age. I was excelling in everything I was involved in, or at least that's how it seemed to the untrained eye (evil laugh!). To me, everything was about winning and second place was definitely, not my cup of tea. So, whenever something wasn't working out the way I wanted it too, I simply called it quits, but not before making an extravagant statement of how boring and uninteresting it was to me and how now I would be taking on a new hobby or class or activity, or whatever; that would actually be worthy of my time and talents. True Story.
Of course, deep inside I already knew, that there was nothing wrong with the task at hand, I was just not copying well with not being perfect, so, I was frantically escaping the supreme nightmare of failure.
It wasn't too long that my inability to embrace my failures, brought home another friend.
The fear of failure itself.
For any proud member of the Land of the Perfect, failure is an impossible prospect and surely not part of the parcel of greatness.
Naturally, I too became a, slightly neurotic, go-getter, from a really young age. I was excelling in everything I was involved in, or at least that's how it seemed to the untrained eye (evil laugh!). To me, everything was about winning and second place was definitely, not my cup of tea. So, whenever something wasn't working out the way I wanted it too, I simply called it quits, but not before making an extravagant statement of how boring and uninteresting it was to me and how now I would be taking on a new hobby or class or activity, or whatever; that would actually be worthy of my time and talents. True Story.
Of course, deep inside I already knew, that there was nothing wrong with the task at hand, I was just not copying well with not being perfect, so, I was frantically escaping the supreme nightmare of failure.
It wasn't too long that my inability to embrace my failures, brought home another friend.
The fear of failure itself.
Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all — in which case, you fail by default. J.K. Rowling
So, now I found myself resenting the very idea of trying new things, in the fear of not being able to excel at them, in my first attempt.
What if I am not doing the right thing?
What if I try and fail?
What if it doesn't work out?
What if I am exposed as the fraud I am?
The fear of failure, was now so dominant, it actually blocked my path to personal success and by the time I was 30, it had become a major handicap for me.
I found myself prisoner of brutal working schedules just to make sure I made no mistakes; in my world, errors were to be avoided at any cost, I was programmed in the language of success: excellence, high quality, continuous improvement. There was absolutely, no room, for failure.
And then came baby.
That was it. That was the first time in my life that I realized I had to stop placing unrealistic demands on myself and finally accept the inevitability of making mistakes. I just had to. Period.
I couldn't fake my way into being a perfect mom and it sure was not one of the roles, I could let someone else play for me. This was a life time commitment during which I would undoubtedly fail, at some point or another. Beating myself up over criticism was no longer an option.
I had to stop forcing myself to live in a lie and escape the Land of the Perfect ASAP, before I destroyed my own peace of mind, along with the ones of my hubby and son.
So, after a near-mental-breakdown, I somehow magically liberated myself from the fear of failure and here is how:
I realised that failing at something, does not make me a failure.
There is actually no such thing as a failure, after all. There is only feedback.
Feedback I can use as my stepping stone for further development.
Sure, I still find myself a bit scared, every time I try to puss myself to the limits of my abilities and endurance. And to be honest, I don't think that ever changes. But now I know, that letting the illusions of fear stop me from testing the boundaries of possibility will cause me to miss on a chance to grow further and I will not let that happen.
People do not fail. People stop trying.
Is the fear of failure stopping you from testing your boundaries? Let me know in the comment section below.
If you have a question you’d like me to personally answer, email me at [email protected]
If you enjoyed this post, share it! Facebook it, Tweet it, Digg it or email it to friends. Share the Love.
What if I am not doing the right thing?
What if I try and fail?
What if it doesn't work out?
What if I am exposed as the fraud I am?
The fear of failure, was now so dominant, it actually blocked my path to personal success and by the time I was 30, it had become a major handicap for me.
I found myself prisoner of brutal working schedules just to make sure I made no mistakes; in my world, errors were to be avoided at any cost, I was programmed in the language of success: excellence, high quality, continuous improvement. There was absolutely, no room, for failure.
And then came baby.
That was it. That was the first time in my life that I realized I had to stop placing unrealistic demands on myself and finally accept the inevitability of making mistakes. I just had to. Period.
I couldn't fake my way into being a perfect mom and it sure was not one of the roles, I could let someone else play for me. This was a life time commitment during which I would undoubtedly fail, at some point or another. Beating myself up over criticism was no longer an option.
I had to stop forcing myself to live in a lie and escape the Land of the Perfect ASAP, before I destroyed my own peace of mind, along with the ones of my hubby and son.
So, after a near-mental-breakdown, I somehow magically liberated myself from the fear of failure and here is how:
I realised that failing at something, does not make me a failure.
There is actually no such thing as a failure, after all. There is only feedback.
Feedback I can use as my stepping stone for further development.
Sure, I still find myself a bit scared, every time I try to puss myself to the limits of my abilities and endurance. And to be honest, I don't think that ever changes. But now I know, that letting the illusions of fear stop me from testing the boundaries of possibility will cause me to miss on a chance to grow further and I will not let that happen.
People do not fail. People stop trying.
Is the fear of failure stopping you from testing your boundaries? Let me know in the comment section below.
If you have a question you’d like me to personally answer, email me at [email protected]
If you enjoyed this post, share it! Facebook it, Tweet it, Digg it or email it to friends. Share the Love.
Other Posts You might Like:
3 Life Hacks my son taught me about living life to the fullest.
Gremlin You, Gremlin Me and our First Weekly Challenge, Part I
Gremlin You, Gremlin Me Part II | Beating Your Inner Critic to Submission
3 Life Hacks my son taught me about living life to the fullest.
Gremlin You, Gremlin Me and our First Weekly Challenge, Part I
Gremlin You, Gremlin Me Part II | Beating Your Inner Critic to Submission
About the Author
Nichole, is a Life Change Architect and a Motivational Speaker, Coaching, Writing and Running Workshops about Personal Growth and Positive Change.
Connect with Nichole on Facebook or email her at [email protected]
Nichole, is a Life Change Architect and a Motivational Speaker, Coaching, Writing and Running Workshops about Personal Growth and Positive Change.
Connect with Nichole on Facebook or email her at [email protected]
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