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5 Tips for moving from Self-Judgment, to Self-Compassion

2/1/2013

7 Comments

 
Why is it that we are so eager to forgive and forget others, treat them with compassion and understanding, while at the same time we are being so hard on ourselves about very little thing we think or do?

That’s the first thought that crossed my mind, this morning, after hanging up, the phone with one of my most cherished friends.

She is going through some really though times and even though, she is doing her best to maintain some sort of balance, she more often than not, finds herself tangled in doubt, blame and guilt.

And she is not the only one. 
I too, have found myself in similar situations, harshly judging my thoughts, decisions and actions but over the years I discovered a few tricks to keep myself, on the right track.

Here is what works for me:

1. Avoiding as many “shoulds” as possible. Following my inner wisdom and trusting my intuition and hunches. - This usually keeps me out of trouble, but doesn’t always work, mostly because over the years I somehow managed to burry myself under more “shoulds” than I ever thought possible. True Story.

2. Reminding myself that I am a human being. I have my strengths but I also have my limitations. I do not need to be perfect but I do need to accept myself unconditionally. Just like I accept my friends and family.

3. Repeating this powerful affirmation from the TakeTen Affirmation Pack “I always treat myself as I would my best friend with a positive attitude, love and understanding.” Of course any self-empowering affirmation will do just fine, but I find this one extremely helpful.
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Powerful Affirmation by TakeTen / I always treat myself as I would my best friend with a positive attitude, love and understanding.
4. Taking Ten. Taking some time to distance myself from anything that is distorting my point of view. Taking a few breaths. Changing my perspective. Honestly accessing the situation, as someone less emotionally involved would have. 

5. Act. Act. Act. When something doesn’t feel right, instead of blaming myself for it, I simply act on it. Change it. Turn it into something I can feel comfortable with. 

Have you aver viewed yourself in a more critical way than you would like? What helped you through it? 

Much Love,

Nichole
7 Comments
Stelios
1/31/2013 10:27:11 pm

The way I see it, All Judgement is Self-Judgement.

Reply
nichole link
2/5/2013 03:42:02 am

Absolutely agree! Thank you Stelios for taking the time to comment on our post. It means a lot, knowing that there are people out there, actually reading our posts... Much Love, Nichole

Reply
Anonymous
2/1/2013 12:00:33 am

Personally,I prefer to take ten or more some times, and look at the problem persistent as much as it disappear in peace, it helps!

Reply
nichole link
2/5/2013 03:45:03 am

Thank you for being with us here, on TakeTen. Have a blessed day.

Reply
Liann
9/18/2013 02:55:32 am

I am currently working on this very thing. So thrilled to have found your website! I am also reading The Four Agreements, which reminds you also, to be kind to yourself. Be Impeccable with your Word. Love the quote, treat yourself as you would a friend....powerful. Thank You for sharing!

Reply
nichole link
9/19/2013 02:34:00 am

Hello Liann and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts here. I am happy to be connected with you!

Ruiz's Four Agreements, have become part of my Life Coaching practice and their simplicity, never seizes to amaze me.

Some times the person in need of love, care and affection is, the person in the mirror and I remind myself of that every day.

Much Love!

Reply
Ruth
1/20/2014 04:38:06 am

Spending more time in positive thoughts and activities allows for less time and energy for negativity. Breaking the habit of beating yourself up can be tough, but it can be done. Start with letting yourself feel good about the times you do well, and give yourself a break when you mess up. It does not count how many times you mess up - what counts is that you keep on trying!

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