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Are you holding yourself back? | Break free from your own limiting beliefs, starting today. 

3/29/2013

4 Comments

 

And the 5 questions to help you identify them and break free.

When elephants are young, living in a circus or a zoo, they are tethered with a chain around their leg that restrains them from moving far. Initially, the baby elephant will pull and tug at its chain trying to free itself, but eventually, after some time, the elephant will learn that escaping is futile, that no matter how hard it tries it remains imprisoned and thus gives into the restraint, for good. 

Yes, for good.

You see, from that point on, the elephant is convinced that there is no way to break free. And even-though a fully grown elephant, could easily walk away, snapping its chain, without breaking a sweat, it still believes to be as much a prisoner as when it was a little baby and therefore doesn't even think of trying to escape.

And that's what got me thinking. 

Are we any different from the elephants, when it comes to our own limiting, sturdy beliefs?

One would think that we humans with all our education and highly developed reasoning skills, are far too smart to be taken in, by such a cheap manipulative trick. Sadly, we are not. 

To put it, in the proper psychiatric term: 
"conditioned reflexes", originating from negative experiences, way back into ones past, may still influence his decisions and way of life, today. 
Negative experiences, failures of one sort or the other, tend to create powerful ripples in our lives, whether we know it or not and many of our most important decisions, anything from leaving a job, starting a new business, get married, have children, or take a divorce and move across the world, may be highly influenced by limiting beliefs created from those negative experiences, deeply embedded in our souls.
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Leaving my highly paying job, as a marketing professional, to help my husband build his architectural firm and take the time to think about what it is that I truly felt passionate about doing, was one of the most difficult, life decisions for me. 

Don't get me wrong here, I did not hate my job, I just never felt like we were a perfect 100% match but even-though that feeling was there from the beginning, after spending the last 10 years of my life working in cubicles, I still couldn't find it in me to just change my path. 

I was holding myself back, with a chain my parents have created almost 20 years ago, when they wouldn't let me quit French class, because "winners don't quit". And let me tell you something, I hated French, so for the first couple of years I repeatedly made it clear to my parents that I didn't like the class and that maybe I should try something new, but the answer was always NO. So, I've spent 5 miserable years learning French and now I can only remember a handful of phrases, including the awkward pickup line "Voulez vous coucher avec moi?".   

That was it, a limiting belief had found its way into my life and had me convinced that changing my career path was actually quitting, admitting defeat and cowardly walking away. I couldn't see it, for the opportunity that it was. I was chained.  And it took me almost 2 years to realize that, to stop making excuses and finally start pushing myself towards the life, I have been wanting for years. A meaningful life of service and love.

So, if you are not currently, live the life of your dreams, or at least work daily towards that direction, now is the time to ask yourself these questions: 

Are you, in any way, like the full grown elephant? 
Can you recall a time when you just gave up on something you were passionate about?
What is the "chain" that holds you back?
What do you think would happen if you broke that chain? 
Is the possibility of being free, scaring you, in any way?  


And if you are in need of encouragement and guidance, remember I am here for you. 
Lets replace that voice in your head telling you "this is too hard, you shouldn't even think about it", with a new empowering voice, screaming "You can do this. Go, for it!" 

If you have a question you’d like me to personally answer, email me at [email protected]

Much Love,
life coach athens greece women
4 Comments
El.
3/29/2013 02:21:39 am

Hi Nichole!

First of all, I adored this article of yours and even more the metaphor of the elephant that you used. Just Brilliant!

I gather that YES we ALL are just like ELEPHANTS! (At least once –or more-in our levies...) not only because we’ve been brought up this way, but because of a “bad” habit, that humans tend to attached themselves.

Me myself, feel like, in this period of my life, that I am in a consecutive struggle with the “chain” every day. I am breaking chains every single day…, I say to myself “You’re almost there!” And I say that, because I truly believe it, not just to comfort my feelings, but because I see the progress every day.

But what if Nichole, we constantly break many “chains” of our lives, get rid of things we don’t like any more or things of our past that hurt us, and at the same time we Ourselves, unconsciously, create NEW “chains” to our lives? What happens then? Is this a game? Are we ever be able to be FREE? Or is there a need that comes from fear?

Reply
nichole link
3/29/2013 08:49:46 pm

Hello El.,

What a wonderful comment! It sparked additional consideration of the role of limiting beliefs (our emotional chains) in our lives and how me might create new ones every day.

So, yes our beliefs operate around the clock and new ones are born each day, but now that you are consciously working on bettering your life, you can put all your good sense into evaluating every newly formed belief, before accepting it as an actual fact.

Now, every new experience, will be carefully examined before being absorbed and transformed into a new belief.

You will ask questions like, "If I were to believe this, from now on, will it contribute to my highest joy?" "Will this new belief help me achieve some sort of improvement in my life and the direction I have taken?" "Will it take me any closer to the person I aspire to be?"

Following that process will, more or less, ensure that your new beliefs will not hold you down, like a chain would, but like wings will lift you up and keep you going towards your new life.

Hope this helped and thank you again for your comment.

Have a beautiful weekend!

Reply
Stella
5/13/2013 02:11:11 am

I am sending this to my sister. I think it will help her a lot. She has had nothing but hard times for the last five years.

Reply
nichole
5/13/2013 07:31:23 pm

I really hope it will be of help Stella!
xoxo
nichole

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