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Last week, my soon to be 3-year-old son, decided it was the perfect time of the year, to wear his winter boots to a play date. And I wouldn't mind letting him wear them, if we didn't happen to live in Greece, which practically means the temperature is almost 90F, as we speak... |  |
Choose your battles wisely. Life is not about winning fights, it's about being happy.
Within minutes -and no intention whatsoever-, I found myself deeply engaged in a power struggle with a toddler. And while I was ferociously defending my ground, showering him with my words of wisdom and explaining why he shouldn't wear the winter boots in a sunny, summer morning (!), a light bulb blinks on, in that puffy balloon caption over my head and everything becomes clear.
Alex was not trying to intentionally defy me. He was only pushing his individuality boundaries, demonstrating his interdependency and mastering his already highly developed negotiating skills -which among others include consistently using the word “No”, begging, weeping, hugging and making promises he has no intention of keeping, whatsoever-. But that's not even the point.
Alex was not trying to intentionally defy me. He was only pushing his individuality boundaries, demonstrating his interdependency and mastering his already highly developed negotiating skills -which among others include consistently using the word “No”, begging, weeping, hugging and making promises he has no intention of keeping, whatsoever-. But that's not even the point.
The point is, why didn't I want him to wear the boots to the play date?
Was it really that big of a deal?
It clearly wasn't a health or safety issue, in which case I would stand my ground and never give in. So, this, was actually more about me, than it was about Alex.
To put it plain and simple: I wanted my child to be appropriately dressed for a play date. I wanted to maintain control over what he would put on, so that HIS outfit would agree with MY notion of what looks nice. And even worse, I felt that how Alex dresses, was a reflection of my own worth as a parent.
I gently consented to him wearing the boots and in less that 2 minutes, a very happy toddler and a deep-in-thought mom, were out of the house and on their way to what is now known as the greatest play date, of all times.
To put it plain and simple: I wanted my child to be appropriately dressed for a play date. I wanted to maintain control over what he would put on, so that HIS outfit would agree with MY notion of what looks nice. And even worse, I felt that how Alex dresses, was a reflection of my own worth as a parent.
I gently consented to him wearing the boots and in less that 2 minutes, a very happy toddler and a deep-in-thought mom, were out of the house and on their way to what is now known as the greatest play date, of all times.
Every minute you spend angry, is 60 seconds of happiness, that you will never get back. [tweet this]
As someone who likED -please note the word likED- being in control of everything, I had a strong tendency of participating in too many battles. The need to always be right kept surfacing again and again and sometimes I did not even care about being right, sometimes all I wanted was to "Win". Win the argument, get my way, be on top.
Now, as I grow a little older -please note the word little -, I realise that life is precious and short and draining myself every day, by power struggling with people -or even little people- over nothing and getting all worked up about things I shouldn't, is no longer an option for me.
You see, we may not realise it, but every argument, is a chip in our delicate armor of happiness and thus we have to learn to pick our battles and not the other way around.
Now, as I grow a little older -please note the word little -, I realise that life is precious and short and draining myself every day, by power struggling with people -or even little people- over nothing and getting all worked up about things I shouldn't, is no longer an option for me.
You see, we may not realise it, but every argument, is a chip in our delicate armor of happiness and thus we have to learn to pick our battles and not the other way around.
Not everything is a crisis. Not everything is to be taken personally. Not everything is there to intentionally hurt you.
Keep these 3 thoughts in the back of your head, these days and whenever you find yourself sweating over the small stuff, like being 10 minutes late, or getting on the wrong side of someone rude, or being judged, or accidentally deleting a file on your computer. Save your breath and energy and simply let it slide.
Now, don't get me wrong here. I am not trying to convince you to become a push-over for other people. But let's face it, we all have little things that set us off, little things of no particular importance, that invite unnecessary drama into our lives. Not all battles are fight-worthy. That is all I am saying.
So, why not ask yourself these simple, straightforward questions, the next time you find your emotions running higher than the actual issue:
"Is this really worth fighting for?"
"Do I want to be right, or happy?"
Take a couple of deep breaths and consciously make a decision about whether to take the battle on with full force or simply smile, let go and move on with your day.
So, how about YOU? Do you pick your battles carefully?
Let me know in the comment section below.
Remember, if you have a question you’d like me to personally answer,
email me at [email protected]
If you enjoyed this post, share it! Facebook it, Tweet it, Digg it or email it to friends.
Thank you for Sharing the Love.
Now, don't get me wrong here. I am not trying to convince you to become a push-over for other people. But let's face it, we all have little things that set us off, little things of no particular importance, that invite unnecessary drama into our lives. Not all battles are fight-worthy. That is all I am saying.
So, why not ask yourself these simple, straightforward questions, the next time you find your emotions running higher than the actual issue:
"Is this really worth fighting for?"
"Do I want to be right, or happy?"
Take a couple of deep breaths and consciously make a decision about whether to take the battle on with full force or simply smile, let go and move on with your day.
So, how about YOU? Do you pick your battles carefully?
Let me know in the comment section below.
Remember, if you have a question you’d like me to personally answer,
email me at [email protected]
If you enjoyed this post, share it! Facebook it, Tweet it, Digg it or email it to friends.
Thank you for Sharing the Love.
Other Posts You might Like:
Happiness | 5 Tips to help you work your way from grumpy to happy
Are you holding yourself back? | Break free from your own limiting beliefs, starting today
Overcoming the Fear of Failure | How I Rejected the Illusions of Fear and you can too
Happiness | 5 Tips to help you work your way from grumpy to happy
Are you holding yourself back? | Break free from your own limiting beliefs, starting today
Overcoming the Fear of Failure | How I Rejected the Illusions of Fear and you can too
About the Author
Nichole, is a Life Change Architect and a Motivational Speaker, Coaching, Writing and Running Workshops about Personal Growth and Positive Change.
Connect with Nichole on Facebook or email her at [email protected]
Nichole, is a Life Change Architect and a Motivational Speaker, Coaching, Writing and Running Workshops about Personal Growth and Positive Change.
Connect with Nichole on Facebook or email her at [email protected]
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