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The Art of Letting Go and Moving On | The Story Is Not Over Yet...

10/18/2013

7 Comments

 



Have you ever melted into grief just because something you didn't plan for, happened? 

Something that you saw as a total failure at the moment? 

Thinking about it over and over again. Attempting to figure out exactly how it is going to play out? 

Foretelling all the disasters that will surely follow this misstep? 

Well, I sure have!

Life Coaching | TakeTen | Positive Quote

Warning! Letting go of the old and Moving on with your life, may cause Happiness!

Sometimes overanalysing situations, labelling events and trying to micromanage the universe, gives us a false sense of control or security. Locked into only one possible outcome we eliminate all other possibilities and that in it self can be comforting. But life is all about wonderful possibilities, continuous change and an infinite string of unpredictable moments that we are meant to experience as they come. 

I used to attach meaning to everything that happened to me. And I mean everything, from a client email, complaining about the service quality he has receiving to a broken pipe in the bathroom that flooded my entire apartment while I was at work, everything was immediately labeled as good or bad. And then I would spend countless hours thinking about it, feeling trapped in my own interpretation of what happened or in the meaning I have attached to the situation. 

But sometimes what now seems like a wonderful stroke of luck, might turn out to be something less fortunate after all, while a misfortune might bring you everything you ever wanted. Everything in life is cyclical and attaching meaning to every little thing that happens to you, is nothing but a big fat waste of time. 

Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be. Sonia Ricotti. [tweet this]

I have now, learned to accept what happened for what it really is. I got fired. I broke up with my boyfriend. I had a fight with my brother. No matter what happened, I no longer stay attached to it, I do not try to interpret it, I do not foresee the end of the world because of it. No matter what it is, I now, know, it will eventually pass. After all nothing is permanent.

This 2.000 year old Chinese story helped me change the way I chose to experience and interact with everything that is happening to me on a daily basis.

The Chinese tell a story, of a farmer who buys a horse, after years of saving his hard earned money. 

A few months later, the horse runs away. The entire village gathers in front of his house and tries to console him. "We are so sorry about your horse. This is such a misfortune".  The old farmer looks at them and says  "Good news, bad news, who can tell?"

A few days later, the horse comes back and brings a herd of wild horses with him. Again the people from the village gather in front of the house and cry joyously "How wonderful this is. You are so lucky!" The farmer stands still and replies "Good news, bad news, who can tell?"

Right the next day, the farmer's son rides one of the wild horses and gets thrown, badly breaking both his legs. Devastated the villages gather once again in front of the farmer's house crying for his misfortune. The old man looks at them and whispers  "Good news, bad news, who can tell?"

In a week or so, the emperor's men come and draft every able-bodied young man to fight in a war. The farmer's son is excused because of two broken legs.

Good news, you might say...

Well, Good news, Bad news, Who can Tell?
Good. Bad. Who knows? The story is not over yet.

So, now, no matter what happens, I take the time to internalise it properly, acknowledge it for what it really is, accept the feelings that emerge from my experience -anger, fear, joy, excitement- find the lesson or the blessing it carries and then I gently let it go. 

And no, it is not always easy. Sometimes I get a strong impulse to over-analyse what happened, to tell myself dramatic stories of how it is going to play out eventually, to have a definite opinion about why it happened and whether it was a good or a bad thing. But now, I have the tools to use to simply make peace with the moment, as it is and move on to the next one, keeping my commitment to living my best life.

After all, there are no guarantees in life, so no matter what happens make a conscious choice to experience, appreciate, learn and grow from it, until something new happens, a new experience that will carry you further on your way to the person you inspire to become. 


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Now, why don't you take an inventory of your life to find out what it is that you need to let go of, in order to move forward.

Share it in the comment section bellow. 

I'm here to support you and encourage you to make it happen. 
So, don't be shy, do tell...

Life Coaching TakeTen

Other Posts You Might Love:
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Back to the Basics | The Importance of Picking your Battles in Everyday Life
Overcoming the Fear of Failure | How I Rejected the Illusions of Fear and you can too

Life Coach Nichole
About Me

Hi, I'm Nichole, and I am a Life Change Architect and a Motivational Speaker, Coaching, Writing and Running Workshops about Personal Growth and Positive Change. 

Connect with me on Facebook or email me at [email protected]


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7 Comments
Alie
10/22/2013 05:34:48 pm

Nichole,

I love this story so much and I'd like to think that I have learned my lesson, here. Life is life, we never know what's coming up next and when we cannot let go of what was we lose the chance of experiencing what is.

Thanks again for a juicy post.

Reply
nichole link
10/30/2013 01:58:13 am

I know you do Alie and you should be proud! It's little realisations like this one that make life awesome!

Wishing you a joyous day :)

xoxo

Reply
Photini
10/24/2013 12:54:20 am

This story really hit the spot. I need me some letting go ASAP. There are people in my life that are keeping be back and I know I need to let them go and see how things go, but it's not easy and lately predicting the end of the world has become a habit of mine. All in good time I guess.

Reply
nichole link
10/30/2013 02:02:47 am

Photini,
Looks like you are dealing with toxic friends. The toughest kind to deal with. Believe me. I've been there.

I would suggest reading our Toxic Friendship posts here (http://tinyurl.com/pb2o3w3 and http://tinyurl.com/ojpph2k) and don't hesitate to shoot me an email if you need something tailored to your specific needs.

Always good to have new people around!

xoxo

Reply
Deborah
10/29/2013 11:32:39 pm

Loved - Loved- Loved this.

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
Epictetus

Reply
nichole link
10/30/2013 02:17:16 am

Exactly Deborah!

Thank you for taking the time to comment here :)

Have a fabulous day!

xoxo

Reply
yiannis m
11/5/2013 07:11:56 pm

Hi Nichole and all the rest,

I remember from my favourite book 'The school for Gods' saying: "Getting stuck in the bad or good memories of the past kills the present moment".

So let's accept things as they come into our lives and feel blessed.

Reply



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