| | |
Last week, my soon to be 3-year-old son, decided it was the perfect time of the year, to wear his winter boots to a play date. And I wouldn't mind letting him wear them, if we didn't happen to live in Greece, which practically means the temperature is almost 90F, as we speak... |  |
Choose your battles wisely. Life is not about winning fights, it's about being happy.
Within minutes -and no intention whatsoever-, I found myself deeply engaged in a power struggle with a toddler. And while I was ferociously defending my ground, showering him with my words of wisdom and explaining why he shouldn't wear the winter boots in a sunny, summer morning (!), a light bulb blinks on, in that puffy balloon caption over my head and everything becomes clear.
Alex was not trying to intentionally defy me. He was only pushing his individuality boundaries, demonstrating his interdependency and mastering his already highly developed negotiating skills -which among others include consistently using the word “No”, begging, weeping, hugging and making promises he has no intention of keeping, whatsoever-. But that's not even the point.
Alex was not trying to intentionally defy me. He was only pushing his individuality boundaries, demonstrating his interdependency and mastering his already highly developed negotiating skills -which among others include consistently using the word “No”, begging, weeping, hugging and making promises he has no intention of keeping, whatsoever-. But that's not even the point.
The point is, why didn't I want him to wear the boots to the play date?
Was it really that big of a deal?
It clearly wasn't a health or safety issue, in which case I would stand my ground and never give in. So, this, was actually more about me, than it was about Alex.
To put it plain and simple: I wanted my child to be appropriately dressed for a play date. I wanted to maintain control over what he would put on, so that HIS outfit would agree with MY notion of what looks nice. And even worse, I felt that how Alex dresses, was a reflection of my own worth as a parent.
I gently consented to him wearing the boots and in less that 2 minutes, a very happy toddler and a deep-in-thought mom, were out of the house and on their way to what is now known as the greatest play date, of all times.
To put it plain and simple: I wanted my child to be appropriately dressed for a play date. I wanted to maintain control over what he would put on, so that HIS outfit would agree with MY notion of what looks nice. And even worse, I felt that how Alex dresses, was a reflection of my own worth as a parent.
I gently consented to him wearing the boots and in less that 2 minutes, a very happy toddler and a deep-in-thought mom, were out of the house and on their way to what is now known as the greatest play date, of all times.
Every minute you spend angry, is 60 seconds of happiness, that you will never get back. [tweet this]
RSS Feed
